I grab my recurve bow and arrows and place them in trunk of my Subaru. It’s a nice Florida day and the sun is out but there is a cold front and the temperature is very comfortable. It’s almost 11 AM and I head back into the house to pick up my gear bag and some torn pieces of paper. In each torn piece I wrote an emotion I have been feeling since my ex-fiancée broke things off. Examples include, disrespect, betrayal, confusion and frustration to name a few. It took a while to find a sharpie around the house but I finally found one. I took my time to write each word neatly.
Before heading back out I check my email one last time. It is Friday and I have some time off in the morning from work, but I want to make sure everything is good before I go out to the archery club. Everything is good at work.
I start the car and back out of the drive way. I run thru my mental checklist to make sure I have everything I need. Done. I put the car in first gear and head out. I’m in a reggaeton kind of mood, so I queue up the appropriate playlist and before I get to the end of the block I’m already jamming in my car to the latest J Balvin remix. After a short 17 minute drive, I’m now out of the city and in between farmland. Go some side streets deeper into the backwoods until I arrive at my destination, the local gun and archery club that I have been a member of for a few years. It’s a private facility and the gun ranges are normally pretty active but the archery range doesn’t get a lot of traffic (especially Friday mornings).
I swipe my badge and drive to the far end of the property. I get to the archery range and just as I suspected I have it all to myself. A few acres of dense woods with all types of paper or foam targets and a few fake animals to practice bow hunting as well.
I unload the gear and put on my brown leather glove on my shooting hand. I have had it for over a year and it has a very nice wear that conforms to my hand instantly. I grab my pieces of paper, arrows and my bow and go to one of my favorite paper targets that is a few yards into the woods. Once I get there, I place all my gear on a nearby bench and walk up to inspect my target. It is a standard bullseye target in plain black and white. The outer circle has a diameter of 12 inches with smaller circles in it. I walk back to the bench and “string” my bow. Stringing is when you set the string into the limbs and in a way you “arm” the bow. The limbs of the bow now have a very tense bowstring trying to compress their end points.
I don’t have a quiver so I grab my 12 brand new carbon fiber arrows and place them on the ground at a comfortable 25 ft away. That is a nice warm up distance for me since I haven’t shot my bow in months. Now I reach into my pocket and grab a torn piece of paper at random. I pulled out the paper that reads “Frustration” and I immediately think “oh… ok, let’s see how it goes”.
I place the paper on the ground on top of all the arrows. I then stand about 1 foot to the left of the arrows and take my stance.
My archery style is my own. My style is not Olympic, classic or instinctive (but rather a combination of all 3 that works for me).
I stand there with my feet shoulder width-apart. My left foot slightly ahead of my right foot. I bend my knees slightly and I’m holding my bow with my left arm. I take a moment to check how this position feels and it feels good, it feels familiar. I now bend over and reach for the first arrow. I read the piece of paper as I grab the arrow. I reset my stance once again. Check it once again. Yup, it feels right.
Now comes the fun part. I lower my bow so that is it parallel to the ground and my left hand firmly grips the handle. I bring my arrow (with my right hand) to the bow orient it properly and gently place the arrow on the string and secure it.
I’m looking down and I decide to close my eyes. I think of something that frustrates me about the break up. The first thing that comes to mind is how Ananda played with my emotions. She conducted an experiment and used me as lab mice without consulting me. No consideration for me at all, like I’m a statue that lacks feelings and does not get hurt. I harness this energy and transfer it to the arrow. I can feel the frustration leaving my fingertips and loading up the arrow. I imagine that the arrows weight is increasing ever so slightly as a result of it carrying this new energy.
I grip the bow firmly and use my three middle fingers to hold the bowstring slightly below the negatively charged arrow.
I open my eyes and look up focusing on the target. Normally you would pick a place on the bullseye and project an imaginary red laser dot on the exact point you want to hit. Not today, I recognize that archery is a perishable skill so instead of a laser dot, I’m going to go for an imaginary circle that is the size of a tennis ball. Let’s be realistic here. I’m not Robin Hood or Katniss Everdeen.
I have my point of impact now, I can see it superimposed on the target. I’m ready to take the shot.
I raise my bow and twist my torso left. At the same time my right shoulder blade contracts towards my spine. My three fingers are firmly placed on the bowstring and I start feeling the resistance of the bow against my upper body. As I complete drawing the bow back, my index finger touches the right corner of my mouth. This is my normal anchor point. Having a consistent anchor point allows you to have more consistent shots. I then extend my pinky finger so that it anchors to my neck.
I aim down the arrow and line up my shot. My eyes are shifting their focus point and once I feel everything is correct, I slowly move my 3 fingers out of the way of the string. I attempt to do this in a smooth motion. This allows the bowstring to travel forward, releasing the spring like tension from the bow and transferring it into the arrow. The arrow clears the bow and it is now flying down the forest and quickly meets the target with a loud thud, like the impact of two oppositely charged refrigerator magnets slapping into each other.
I am about an inch outside of my tennis ball point of impact but that doesn’t matter because I feel great. When I released that negatively charged arrow I felt some of that emotion leaving my body. Imagery is an incredibly powerful thing. Especially when you connect emotions to physical action. This is my first time doing this type of thing and it worked. Yes!
A normal approach to this would be to write it out and then destroy or burn the piece of paper. I had a bow and thought I would make a JP variation of this type of therapy and it worked. I continued to load my emotionally charged arrows into my bow with the negative memories that were frustrating to me. Until I couldn’t think of any more frustrating memories. If you ever need it... do it.
I walked to the target and retrieved all my arrows. I placed them on the ground again and took out a new piece of paper. “Sadness” was next up and I thought this should be easy. I shot a bunch of arrows and I did feel better. I did a few more pieces of paper and then my arm started to get tired. I retrieved all my arrows from the target for one last round. I reached into my pocket and pulled out all the papers, I was looking for the one that read “Acceptance”.
I then repeated the process with twelve more arrows. Loading each arrow with the things that I needed to accept. Some of the arrows that I sent down range included:
“You are single now. Enjoy it”
“Life is full of change. Embrace it”
“Ananda does not want you as a life partner. You gave it your all. That’s ok”
“Ananda is not coming back.”
“Own the process and the pain that comes with it”
“Ananda took you for granted. You are a great catch.”
“She broke up with you, but you are not the one losing in this exchange”
“Re-imagine a new life, better than the one you had already planned. Execute that vision”
"You deserve better. You deserve reciprocity"
"I cannot and will not be with someone who does not want to be with me"
For those of you good at math, that is 11 arrows. Arrow number twelve will be the subject of a future blog post.
I retrieved my arrows one last time and packed everything in my car. I sat down and started to think about lunch plans. As I was driving down to the gate, I caught my reflection in the mirror and realized I was smiling for no apparent reason. Healing feels good.
Before heading back out I check my email one last time. It is Friday and I have some time off in the morning from work, but I want to make sure everything is good before I go out to the archery club. Everything is good at work.
I start the car and back out of the drive way. I run thru my mental checklist to make sure I have everything I need. Done. I put the car in first gear and head out. I’m in a reggaeton kind of mood, so I queue up the appropriate playlist and before I get to the end of the block I’m already jamming in my car to the latest J Balvin remix. After a short 17 minute drive, I’m now out of the city and in between farmland. Go some side streets deeper into the backwoods until I arrive at my destination, the local gun and archery club that I have been a member of for a few years. It’s a private facility and the gun ranges are normally pretty active but the archery range doesn’t get a lot of traffic (especially Friday mornings).
I swipe my badge and drive to the far end of the property. I get to the archery range and just as I suspected I have it all to myself. A few acres of dense woods with all types of paper or foam targets and a few fake animals to practice bow hunting as well.
I unload the gear and put on my brown leather glove on my shooting hand. I have had it for over a year and it has a very nice wear that conforms to my hand instantly. I grab my pieces of paper, arrows and my bow and go to one of my favorite paper targets that is a few yards into the woods. Once I get there, I place all my gear on a nearby bench and walk up to inspect my target. It is a standard bullseye target in plain black and white. The outer circle has a diameter of 12 inches with smaller circles in it. I walk back to the bench and “string” my bow. Stringing is when you set the string into the limbs and in a way you “arm” the bow. The limbs of the bow now have a very tense bowstring trying to compress their end points.
I don’t have a quiver so I grab my 12 brand new carbon fiber arrows and place them on the ground at a comfortable 25 ft away. That is a nice warm up distance for me since I haven’t shot my bow in months. Now I reach into my pocket and grab a torn piece of paper at random. I pulled out the paper that reads “Frustration” and I immediately think “oh… ok, let’s see how it goes”.
I place the paper on the ground on top of all the arrows. I then stand about 1 foot to the left of the arrows and take my stance.
My archery style is my own. My style is not Olympic, classic or instinctive (but rather a combination of all 3 that works for me).
I stand there with my feet shoulder width-apart. My left foot slightly ahead of my right foot. I bend my knees slightly and I’m holding my bow with my left arm. I take a moment to check how this position feels and it feels good, it feels familiar. I now bend over and reach for the first arrow. I read the piece of paper as I grab the arrow. I reset my stance once again. Check it once again. Yup, it feels right.
Start of Random Thought
The mind will play tricks on you sometimes. It is interesting what triggers different feelings or memories.
I didn't expect to be single again and I forgot how much fun it is to flirt around and date around. I was not afraid of rejection before and this new experience further reinforces that. I can talk to anyone about anything without hesitation. I started my private dancing lessons and it has been fun and challenging. I also started to cook and will soon document all the family recipes, so that will keep me busy too. I'm going to add a little more training to my schedule to round up my career skills. My goal was to accomplish these over time but now I'm just going to turbocharge my pace stay busy. That seems to help.
It also occurs to me that I should write more often. Since the break up I have been writing this blog, a different private blog and offline. In my next writing project I will use my wild imagination and random collection of facts to write a fictional short story. That should be a nice challenge.
End of Random Thought
Now comes the fun part. I lower my bow so that is it parallel to the ground and my left hand firmly grips the handle. I bring my arrow (with my right hand) to the bow orient it properly and gently place the arrow on the string and secure it.
I’m looking down and I decide to close my eyes. I think of something that frustrates me about the break up. The first thing that comes to mind is how Ananda played with my emotions. She conducted an experiment and used me as lab mice without consulting me. No consideration for me at all, like I’m a statue that lacks feelings and does not get hurt. I harness this energy and transfer it to the arrow. I can feel the frustration leaving my fingertips and loading up the arrow. I imagine that the arrows weight is increasing ever so slightly as a result of it carrying this new energy.
I grip the bow firmly and use my three middle fingers to hold the bowstring slightly below the negatively charged arrow.
I open my eyes and look up focusing on the target. Normally you would pick a place on the bullseye and project an imaginary red laser dot on the exact point you want to hit. Not today, I recognize that archery is a perishable skill so instead of a laser dot, I’m going to go for an imaginary circle that is the size of a tennis ball. Let’s be realistic here. I’m not Robin Hood or Katniss Everdeen.
I have my point of impact now, I can see it superimposed on the target. I’m ready to take the shot.
I raise my bow and twist my torso left. At the same time my right shoulder blade contracts towards my spine. My three fingers are firmly placed on the bowstring and I start feeling the resistance of the bow against my upper body. As I complete drawing the bow back, my index finger touches the right corner of my mouth. This is my normal anchor point. Having a consistent anchor point allows you to have more consistent shots. I then extend my pinky finger so that it anchors to my neck.
I aim down the arrow and line up my shot. My eyes are shifting their focus point and once I feel everything is correct, I slowly move my 3 fingers out of the way of the string. I attempt to do this in a smooth motion. This allows the bowstring to travel forward, releasing the spring like tension from the bow and transferring it into the arrow. The arrow clears the bow and it is now flying down the forest and quickly meets the target with a loud thud, like the impact of two oppositely charged refrigerator magnets slapping into each other.
I am about an inch outside of my tennis ball point of impact but that doesn’t matter because I feel great. When I released that negatively charged arrow I felt some of that emotion leaving my body. Imagery is an incredibly powerful thing. Especially when you connect emotions to physical action. This is my first time doing this type of thing and it worked. Yes!
A normal approach to this would be to write it out and then destroy or burn the piece of paper. I had a bow and thought I would make a JP variation of this type of therapy and it worked. I continued to load my emotionally charged arrows into my bow with the negative memories that were frustrating to me. Until I couldn’t think of any more frustrating memories. If you ever need it... do it.
I walked to the target and retrieved all my arrows. I placed them on the ground again and took out a new piece of paper. “Sadness” was next up and I thought this should be easy. I shot a bunch of arrows and I did feel better. I did a few more pieces of paper and then my arm started to get tired. I retrieved all my arrows from the target for one last round. I reached into my pocket and pulled out all the papers, I was looking for the one that read “Acceptance”.
I then repeated the process with twelve more arrows. Loading each arrow with the things that I needed to accept. Some of the arrows that I sent down range included:
“You are single now. Enjoy it”
“Life is full of change. Embrace it”
“Ananda does not want you as a life partner. You gave it your all. That’s ok”
“Ananda is not coming back.”
“Own the process and the pain that comes with it”
“Ananda took you for granted. You are a great catch.”
“She broke up with you, but you are not the one losing in this exchange”
“Re-imagine a new life, better than the one you had already planned. Execute that vision”
"You deserve better. You deserve reciprocity"
"I cannot and will not be with someone who does not want to be with me"
For those of you good at math, that is 11 arrows. Arrow number twelve will be the subject of a future blog post.
I retrieved my arrows one last time and packed everything in my car. I sat down and started to think about lunch plans. As I was driving down to the gate, I caught my reflection in the mirror and realized I was smiling for no apparent reason. Healing feels good.
